We All Hurt
by Grell Loves Undertaker
Summary: This was an RP I did with CreativeProjectiles. TRIGGER WARNING. Some very sad and depressing scenes. May cause heavy breathing, fangirling, crying, more commonly Known as" The Feels ". Anyway, enjoy the story and send us some feedback.
1. Scars

_**This was an RP I did with CreativeProjectiles. TRIGGER WARNING. Some very sad and depressing scenes. May cause heavy breathing, fangirling, crying, more commonly Known as" The Feels ". Anyway, enjoy the story and send us some feedback.**_

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**Chapter 1: Scars**

Grell sulked in his apartment building. It was 2am, and he didn't want to wake his coworkers. All field agents were assigned living quarters within the library so they would avoid being late when reaping souls. Not that it helped the redhead. Somehow, Grill always managed to be late.

Tonight was stormy, and the redhead had his window open. He sat on his window's edge and let the cool rain wash away what was left of his smeared make-up. The normally happy reaper had been crying. He Sighed almost inaudibly as the wind swept through his long crimson locks. He sat there in nothing but a long, bloodied night shirt. The blood that stained the night shirt was from the cuts the reaper had made on his ugly manly body he hated so much. Pieces of his training scythe lay beside the redhead, glistening in the pale moonlight.

Everyone thought of Grell as a happy flamboyant reaper who they could pick on. They thought Grell was unfazed by there words. But it was those words that caused the happy reaper to go into a deep, dark depression. Their words cut like knives. They called him a" gender confused freak". The Crimson reaper felt, no, he knew he was unloved. "No one will miss me if I were to disappear." Grell looked at the bottle of pills in his shaky hand. He knew if he were to knock back a handful of the strong pills, he would rid the world of an imperfect stain, himself. He cried softly as he opened the bottle.

William T. Spears satin his living quarters unable to sleep. He has tried reading a book and organizing his paperwork, but neither helped calm his overly active mind. He finally settled on taking a walk. Perhaps a walk will calm my mind." He sighed to himself. The raven reaper pulled on a loose dress shirt and slipped on some pants. He walk down the halls and came up to a door he knew well. It was Grell's door. He rested his forehead upon the door quietly and sighed silently.

After a while he was about to move on, until he heard the clank of a scythe blade. He knew it wasn't a knife because the living quarters they lived in had no kitchen. They all reported to the cafeteria for all three meals. He knocked on the door firmly.

"Sutcliff? Do you have a scythe in there with you?" As far as he knew, a cut from a death scythe would mean the end of a reaper's life. "Sutcliff, open the door." He said quietly but sternly.

Grell's cut were sallow enough not to kill him, but the pills he was about to take would surly kill him. His breath hitched at the sound of his superior's voice. He quickly shoved the pills under his pillow and discarded the bloodied night shirt in his hamper.

"Coming darling~!" He called out.

The redhead had cried off all his make-up, reveling the dark circles under his tired, cried out eyes. He quickly pulled on his red silk robe after hiding the bloodied night shirt under the say's clothes in the hamper. Grell hid the fragments of his death scythe in his nightstand drawer. The reaper rushed to the door almost falling, due to dizziness caused by lack of eating. The redhead hadn't eaten in weeks, close to months.

"What brings you here at this late hour my dear Will~." He said with a fake smile. Grell stood in the middle of the door way so the raven reaper couldn't get in.

"Grell, what the hell happened to your eyes? You look like you haven't slept in ages. This better not affect your work ethic." William said flatly as he fixed his glasses.

The faint smell of blood made it's way to the raven reapers nose and he looked into the reaper's eyes.

"It smells like blood in here. The last time it smelled like this, you were off doing your little 'Jack the Ripper' stunt with the crazy human." William pushed his way into the redhead's room and followed the scent of blood.

He pulled out the bloodied night shirt from the hamper and threw it at Grell's feet. "Again?!" He almost screamed. "You're coming with me. I can't let you go, you're killing people again."

The raven reaper grabbed Grell and pushed him up against the wall. He held the redhead's hands behind his back. William took out his radio and calked security. "Sutcliff's gone crazy, bring back-up just in case." He said flatly.

Grell's heart sank. Of course Will was going to ask about work. Nobody ever cared about him, especially Will. The raven reaper could care less.

"Hey!" The redhead protested as the taller reaper entered his room. "It's rude to enter lady's room without permission you kn-. . ." The redhead froze at the mention of blood. The crimson reaper bit his lip as William threw the bloodied shirt at his feet.

Grell had thought William had found his darkest secret until he mentioned "Jack the Ripper". Of course, he would go back to his crimanl record. Grell laughed coldly in an effort to hide the real reason his nightshirt was bloody. "I doubt they'll find anything against me." He said, anger and hatred lacing the redhead's voice.

Not but 10minutes later, guards came in and took Grell away to a interrogation room.

"Search the souls and make sure everyone is there. If one soul is missing or out of place, I want IT, locked up." William said pointing to Grell.

The guards left with the protesting redhead as William began to search the place.

The redhead shrieked in protest and struggled against the guards' tight grip. "Not so damn rough!" He growled. "I'm not in the mood."

The big guards practically threw the slender redhead in the room and slammed the door shut.

Grell huffed and picked himself up off the floor. The redhead dusted off his robe and adjusted it so he look decent.

Meanwhile back with at the redhead's apartment, William was looking for evidence. He looked through drawers and found fragment of Grell's training scythe, and a bottle of pills under his pillow. "Why pills and pieces of a training scythe?" He asked himself. William bagged the items and went down to where they took Grell.

Grell sat in the small room waiting. Despite the fact that Grell truly loved William, he was getting dangerously close to biting his smug little head off. The redhead wondered why the raven reaper always insisted on ruining her plans. Why couldn't he just let him die?

William walked into the room and threw the items on the small metal table that sat in the center of the room. "Why do have these?"

Grell look at the items but it didn't faze him. "That is none of your damn business." He snapped at William. Grell did his best not to tear up but was failing.

"Well as far as I know, no souls are missing but I can't let you go until you answer why you had a bottle of pills that were never prescribed to you?" William adjusted his glasses and glared at the redhead.

"See? I did nothing wrong! Now let me go. Once you let me go, I'll be out of your hair forever, I promise." The crimson reaper all but begged. He then forced a weak smile to appear on his worn out face.

"And what is that suppose to mean? Out of my hair forever? Let me see you wrists, now." The raven reaper demanded. He held out his hand for the red head to place his wrists.

"No why should I do any-" The redhead was cut off by William walking around the table and grabbing his freshly cut wrists.

"These are fresh." He stated then looked up into Grell's eyes. "Why?" William asked, hurt laced within his voice.

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_**OMG! Cliffhanger! Sorry people, I know I picked a bad place to cut off the chapter, but not to worry, more is coming soon. *hands you tissues* Trust me, you'll need these fir the next chapters. Send us feed back 3**_


	2. The Truth

_**Hello my wonderful readers! Here it is! Chapter two. Same warning apply. This chapter is little more emotional and I somewhat cried when I was RPing this. So again, TRIGGER WARNING! Also this may cause more tears, more fangirling, and even more heavy breathing. Again this is commonly know as the "MAJOR FEELS". So here's some boxes of tissues. *Hands you 10 boxes of tissues* Trust me, you'll need them.**_

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Tears welled up in the redhead's eyes. he pulled his scared wrists away from the raven reaper. "It's none of your damn effing business. And why do you even care? All you ever ask about is work." Grell's eyes were like daggers, piecing through William's skin.

William shot up from where he was kneeling and shoved out all the guards with a loud scream. "GET OUT!" The raven reaper slammed the door and turned to the redhead. He began to unbutton his shirt with a loud sigh.

Grell looked at the raven with confusion as he began to undress. 'Surely William T. Spears wouldn't use seduction to get information out of me.' The redhead thought to himself. He lowered his head and looked to the floor.

William opened his shirt and pulled it off. He opened his arms and took a deep breath. "Look at me. Look at my body." He said closing his eyes.

All over the raven reaper's torso and arms where deep gashes that turned into painful looking scars. On his chest were multiple burn scars. He was painfully thin. The taller reaper's stomach look like someone had scooped it out and his spine stuck out. His arms were so thin, you could see the outline of every vein he had and the shape of the bones.

"You are not the only one who wishes for death." William said with a shaky voice.

Grell slowly lifted his face and looked at the reaper in front of him. "W-Will..." The redhead stood up and lace his shaky hands on William beaten and scared up body. "W-Why would you...why?" Grell was completely lost for words. He inched closer to his superior and laid his head gently on the raven's boney chest.

The taller reaper had watched as Grell laid his head on his boney, scared up chest. "Why?" William began. "Because I hate myself, that's why." The raven reaper looked away from the redhead's gaze and sighed sadly. "Undertaker...he's not as nice as you think."

"Unny? What do you mean?" The redhead asked looking up at his superior.

"He beat me. He told me I was never good enough. The old bastard starved me. He even...raped me." Tears began to well up in the taller shinigami's eyes as he listed the things the cruel ancient reaper had done to him. "I've tried to kill myself multiple times. Pain killers. I have enough drugs in my body to bring down a full sized elephant. Yet, somehow, I'm still here."

"He...He did this to my beautiful Will?" The redhead said nearly breathless. Grell's knees buckled suddenly and he fell forward.

William caught the smaller reaper and gently brought them both to heir knees. He then took the crimson reaper's small hands in his large boney ones. "Grell, I understand the pain. But who causes you this horrid pain? Just tell me who they are and I'll kill them, I swear." The taller reaper whispered to Grell.

The redheaded reaper smiled bitterly and looked into William's green eyes. "That's just it." He said bitterly. "I don't want you to kill everyone at work. Or my darling Sebby..." Grell choked out the last part knowing William hated the demon. "Everybody is either disgusted by me or doesn't give a damn about me. I hate the looks and snickers from everyone when walk into work. And I'm sick of all those hateful notes." The crimson reaper squeezed William's hands and looked away. "For so long, I've wanted a sex-change...But after a few years of being put down and called these horrid names, I came to realize something. No amount of surgery could ever make me feel beautiful." The small reaper began to cry. "I hate that I'm just an inconvenience! Nobody loves me! And no one ever will!" The redhead's screams and cries broke through the thick silence.

William had stayed quiet and let the redhead sob on his chest. He let out a heavy sigh and reached up to the table. He grabbed a piece of the training scythe and pushed it into Grell's shaking hand. "I want to kill yourself then." He said with almost no emotion.

The redhead gasped at the sudden request as his bottom lip began to tremble.

"But, before you do that, kill me. Slice my throat wide open. Just do it!" William all but shouted. "Because if you leave this earth, so do I. On top of that, you are so wrong about no one caring. I care for you. I never showed my care because of Undertaker. He teased me and beat me. He told me I was a worthless faggot for loving you."

Grell looked up at William with a shocked expression. "You...you...love.."

"That's right. I love you. I loved you from the moment I was partnered up with you back in the academy." The raven sighed and placed the piece of death scythe in Grell's hand against his throat. "So cut my throat open and kill yourself too. If this has to be done to show my love for you, then so be it." William closed his eyes and awaited his death.

Grell was in so much shock, he couldn't move for a few breaths. After he gained control over his body he threw the piece of death scythe to the other side of the room. "I could never kill you." He interjected. 'Why would he kill himself over a nuisance like me?' The redhead thought to himself. Tears welled up in the red reaper's eyes as William had poured his true feelings about how he felt about him. Grell threw his arms around William suddenly and began to cry tears of joy.

The taller reaper sighed as he felt the redhead hug him. "I love you Grell Sutcliff. Always have, always will." William held the crying reaper gently to his boney chest but was careful not to break the fragile reaper.

Grell looked up to the raven and gave him a weak smile. "I love you, William T. Spears." He said softly, then kissed him gently.

William welcome the kiss. He never felt this kind of love before. In truth, this was his first kiss. He wrapped his arms around Grell's bone thin waist and pulled him on to his lap.

The redhead's heart fluttered when he felt William kiss back. He gently moaned as he was pulled onto the raven's lap as warmth began to fill the reaper's chest. 'This must be what love feels like.' Grell thought to himself.

William pulled away from the redhead's lips and began to trace the scars on Grell's back from the demon. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

The redhead blushed deeply and rested against the raven reaper's boney chest. He held the taller reaper tightly as if he was going to disappear at any moment. Was this heaven or was the redhead simply dreaming? As Grell ran his hands down William's back he felt every bone in the raven's back. William felt even thinner than himself. Grell pulled back and looked into William's eyes. "Will you...Will you try to help yourself?" The redhead knew he sounded pathetic, but he knew of no other way of wording things.

"I wish I knew how..." William felt like he was about to throw up. All these emotions he hid so long and memories he thought he gotten rid of began to surface. He wanted to help Grell but how could he help the redhead if he didn't even know how to help himself. A pale blush formed on the raven reaper's cheek as he looked down at Grell.

"For one, you shouldn't hate yourself..." Grell said softly, feeling like a hypocrite. "Not if you have someone who loves you..." He blushed softly. "And perhaps eating a small meal everyday...you're so skinny Will..." Grell bit his lip nervously. The tall reaper was close to being just bones. He knew that there was no way William was healthy.

"Eating is hard for me. No because I'm worried about fat...It's just the way Undertaker starved me. He would feed me a feast of food then put something in my drink to make me vomit. Every time I try to eat, it just comes up and I end up vomiting it all up. So to prevent further damage to my throat, I stopped eating entirely." William sighed and held the red reaper close. "I'm sorry I'm not the perfect man you were hoping for." He stated looking away.

"No, you are perfect. You love me and that is more than enough for me." Grell said softly, kissing William's neck. "We have each other now..." He said softly, a genuine smile tugged a the corners of his lips.

William lifted the slender reaper in his arms and carried him out of the room. He ignored the questioning glares he got as he walked out with Grell in his arms, without his shirt. "Sutcliff is clean." He stated and took the redhead to his living quarters.

Grell held on to William tightly as he was carried. He had buried his face in the nape of William's neck and placed gentle kisses there as he was carried to William's living quarters. The redhead yawned and began to limp in the raven's arms.

William smiled at the kisses and heard the muffled yawn. He place Grell n his bed and covered him. "Sleep." He whispered into Grell ear. He grabbed a pillow and begin to walk out of the room to sleep on the couch.

Grell grabbed William's arm and stopped him. "Will...Sleep with me." He whimpered, not wanting to be alone. The redhead moved to the right and pulled the raven onto the left side. "Please." He begged.

William gave the redhead a small genuine smile. He kissed Grell's trembling bottom lip and laid next to him. The raven reaper gently pulled Grell onto his bone chest and sighed. "I know my chest isn't all that comfortable but..." William trailed off as he stroked the reaper's long crimson locks.

Grell smiled as William played with his hair. "I don't care. As long as I'm near you, I'll always be comfortable." The redhead wrapped his arms around William's waist and soon fell asleep to the sound of the raven's soft heartbeat.

William smiled and soon joined the redhead in a deep slumber. He slept mostly soundly until he heard a crash. He jolted up and found that Grell was no longer on with him. "GRELL!" He ran out of his bedroom and to the livingroom where the crash came from.

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_**Thun, Thun, Thuuuuuun! I know we're killing you guys...Sorry to leave you like this but *hands you more tissues* it had to be done. Sorry about your feels *picks up your hearts from the floor an hand them back you* trust me, I caught the feels RPing this. Until next time *gives you more tissues an pocky* Perhaps Pocky will help with your broken feels. Anyway send us some feedback! Love you all!**_


	3. Damaged

_**Whoop! We're back! Chapter 3 is here. Once again TRIGGER WARNING! The "MAJOR FEELS" are going to affect you as you read so get your pocky and tissues. This chapter is very emotional as well so you have been warned. Enjoy and tell us what you think. IMPORTANT: THIS WAS A RP! I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS ALONE! PLEASE GIVE THE OTHER PERSON CREIT AS WELL! THANK YOU! Now Enjoy chapter**_** 3. Disclaimer: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BROKEN FEELS OR TORN UP HEARTS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

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Grell was laying on the living room floor, surrounded by shards of broken glass and water. "I was thirsty..." He said weakly. Due to weeks of not eating, the redhead had become considerably thin and very weak.

William walked on the glass, not caring about the shards that dug their way into his feet, and made is way to the redhead.

The weak reaper winced as William walked through the glass without even flinching. He whimpered and looked up at the raven like a child who was in trouble.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" The raven asked as he knelt down to check the fragile reaper. Once he was sure Grell okay he lifted the redhead in his arms and set him on the counter near the sink he had in the corner of the living room.

"I'm sorry about the glass." Grell sniffled a tears ran down his cheeks. Soon the redhead was racked by heavy sobs.

"It's okay." The raven haired reaper cooed. "Don't worry about the glass. I'll get you some water okay?" William walked to a cabinet and grabbed another glass. He filled it with cold water and helped he redhead drink. "There's no need to cry." He cooed and set the glass down.

Grell hiccupped a bit as he tried to stop crying. "Your feet..." The redhead felt dizzy and almost fell forward.

"Hey, easy. I don't care about my feet at the moment. You need food in your system. How long has it been since you've eaten?" William asked as he began to rummage through weeks of saved food that he himself didn't eat when it was given to him. He opened a can of soup and use a heat pack to warm it up.

The redhead shook his head. "No, I don't want to eat." He wrapped his arms around his midsection to muffle the growl his stomach gave out.

"Please." William took a small spoon full and ate it. "See, I ate a little. Now you eat some too." He filled another spoonful and offered it to Grell.

A small smile formed on Grell's face as he saw the raven eat. He opened his mouth and accepted the warm food. His stomach settled as the warm soup dropped into his needing belly.

William stepped closer to Grell and placed the food down beside him. The glass dug into his feet and the raven winced.

"Your feet Will." Grell hopped down from the counter and rushed to get a first aid kit. "Sit down please."

William was about to protest but decided against it. He sat on a chair and allowed the redhead to tend to his feet.

Grell gently pulled out each piece of glass and cleaned his wounds. He carefully wrapped up William's feet and looked up at him. "Is it too tight?" He asked.

"No, it's fine." William smiled. He got up and swept up the rest of the glass. Then he grabbed the still warm soup and sat on the couch. "Come here." He called to Grell and opened his arms. "Come sit on my lap." He cooed.

Grell reluctantly sat on William's lap and looked down. "I'm not hurting you am I?" The redhead wrapped his arms around his stomach afraid he was too heavy to be sitting on the raven's lap.

"No, you are not hurting me. Now here, let's finish the soup." William smiled and brought another spoonful to the redhead's lips.

Grell accepted the soup with a small hum. The two sat in each other embrace and ate the soup. William fed Grell like a child but the redhead didn't protest. He enjoyed being taken care of by William. After the soup was done, Grell looked down to see his belly had popped out a bit. He wrapped his arms around his midsection and began to cry.

"Don't look. I'm fat." Grell cried.

William removed Grell's hands. "I love your body. You are not fat. You are perfect. And I feel bad about causing you to ever take a blade to you beautiful body." The raven kissed Grell's shoulder and wrapped his arms around the redhead's waist.

"How can you love me? And it wasn't just you. It was so many people that cause all these ugly scars." Grell began to sob.

"I love you Grell, forever and that will never change." William kissed Grell's temple and held him close.

"I love you too Will. You really love this manly body I'm cursed with? So many times I've thought of a sex change. But I'm just so scared." The redhead said as the tears came to a slow end.

"I love your no matter what. I will even pay for the sex change if that is what you truly want. Money is not an issue. I would do anything for you." William looked into Grell's yellow-green eyes and gave him a genuine smile.

Grell slightly gasped at the smile. 'Did I make William smile?' He asked himself mentally.

"You are my world Grell. The thought of one day being with you, is what kept me fighting for my life every time Undertaker beat me or stabbed me." The raven sighed heavily. "I love you more than life itself."

The redhead teared up and kissed William's lips gently. "I love you with all my heart." He said, smiling slightly. Grell then sighed. "The sex-change...I just don't know." The crimson reaper sighed and looked to the floor. The dull pain in his head, that he had tried to ignore came back ten time worse. Grell felt dizzy again became almost limp in William's embrace.

"Let's go to bed Grell. I'm sure you're exhausted. Those bags under your eyes tell me that it's been weeks since you've slept." William lifted the small reaper in his arms and carried him to the bedroom.

Grell could do nothing but nod as the raven reaper carried him to the bed. "Thank you. For everything." He said as he was set down on the bed.

It was in that moment William felt his stomach begin to reject the food he had eaten. The raven rushed to the bathroom and threw up. He heaved and coughed until nothing more would come up.

Grell squeezed his eye shut as he tried to ignore the dry heaves and coughs coming from the bathroom. "Will..." He whimpered.

William walked out of the bathroom looking paler than when he went in. "I'm sorry. I told you that food never stays down." He walked over to the opposite side and laid with the redhead.

"Can you at least try to keep food down?" Grell asked in a whisper.

"I can try but it just won't work." William sighed.

The red reaper turned to face William and took his hand in his own thin one. "If you keep throwing up, I won't eat. If I'm getting healthy, so are you." Grell stated sternly.

William let a gentle smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "Alright. I'll try harder. How about tomorrow we go on a picnic? We can pack a basket of food and go to the park or fields." He suggested.

Grell nodded and smiled slightly. "Can we sleep? I'm actually quite tired." The redhead yawned and began to close his eyes.

William nodded and wrapped his arms around the small redhead. Soon the two reapers fell asleep in each other's embrace.

Grell woke the next morning later than usual. He felt around and noticed William wasn't by his side. 'Perhaps it was all a dream.' The redhead thought to himself. He sighed sadly and turned over, making sure that he would pay for being so stupid. "It was all a dream." Grell began to sob and his body began to tremble.

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_**Cliiiiiiiiifffffffff Haaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnggggeeerrrrr! Sorry to leave you all like this. *Picks up feels from the floor* You should take better care of these *Dodges pocky and shoes being thrown at us* HEY! Chill! *Grabs Grell's Chainsaw* Stop throwing us stuff! Anyway, the next chapter will be out soon. Just bare with me. I have school and work. Hope you all are enjoying this Story. We love to hear feedback. So Shoot us a comment or DM us. Thank you all! 3**_


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